Friday, November 16, 2012
Jihady Doody Time!
Seen's how that imnotananus guy don't hardly post nothing on his blarg no more, I'm think I may just take it over. Aller willin', that is.
Anyways, I sure am proud o' my kindred folk over in that Gazzer Strip. Launchin' rockets at them joooos sounds like a lot of fun. Y'all might recall how that worked out for me... Sounds like they're havin' a better go of it than I did. But geeze louise, they can't aim for ****. (Sorry, Aller, didn't mean to cuss). Them missiles o' theirs 'bout as acc'rate as a bottle rocket with a warped stick. Hey, Jammal, shut up! I said "stick" you twisted sun beach. What I'm startin' to worry is that them yahoos are gonna blow up the wrong stuff. When ya can't even hit a city, well, maybe it's time to clean the goat snot off'n yer scope optics or sumpthin. They's gonna end up shooting that purty mosque right off the Temple Mount if they don't hurry up and figger out how to aim a little better.
Hey! I just had an ideer! Gaza Strip would be a good name fer one them clubs where the gents stick dollar bills in the ladies' burkas! I'm gonna be rich!
Where wuz I? Got a little distracted thar for a sec, what with all that mental imagery of hotties in burkas and stuff. Oh yeah. I was talkin' about that medical marwanna that all them hippies are smokin'. Being both a jihadi and a redneck, lemme tell you how much I hate hippies. Well, I ain't got a good word for it, but I hate 'em a lot. Let's just leave it right there for now. And don't none o' y'all steal my Gaza Strip ideer or I'll put a bomb in your beer fridge! But with this barrycare law goin' inta effect, them hippies gonna be pissed. 'Cuz there's some claws in that law that imposes a tax on medical devices. I can't wait for the IRS agents to come up on some lazy hippie. The hippie gonna say "Dude, it's legal! I got my medical marwanna card so leave me alone!" Then the IRS agent gonna hit him with a truncheon and say "how much you pay for that fancy bong?" The hippie, being naturally proud o' his bong'll say "It's made of imported quartz and lined with gemstones. The bowl is 100% sterling silver. I paid a thousand bucks." So the IRS man'll hit him with a truncheon again and say "what you call 'bong' I call 'medical equipment' and you ain't paid yer tax on it so off to prison you stinky hippie!" And I'm gonna laugh my ample fanny right off, hoo-wee!
Well, lunchbreak here at the Speedy Lube is just about over so I gotta wrap this up. May your shootin' be straight and your vests not 'splode prematurely!