Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Redneck Thanksgiving!

First T-Day at the new county homestead, and it's feeling a lot "country-er".  We're not really on a view property, but there's enough downslope behind the backyard to see about a half-mile across the valley.  It is mostly pasture land.  Most of the time, that is.  We've had whoppin' rain the last few days, and it is now a GIANT FREEKIN' LAKE out back.  Well, a lake with a road running through the middle of it.  The water never got high enough to mess with traffic, but it's pretty weird to see cars seeming to walk on water. 

My next-door neighbors are out of town, and one of their chickens has repeatedly decided to make a break for it.  Because of the slope described above, looking out my kitchen window puts me about eye-level with the errant chicken roaming out front.  Twice so far this morning, I've done the Bird Round-Up and put her back in her enclosure.

If you're now expecting Rockyesque chicken-chasin' hilarity, you should brace for disappointment.  I'm not dumb enough to chase chickens through mud, wet grass and wet fir needles.  On a slope.  And if I were, I'd never admit it on these hallowed pages...

First off, I befriended her with a handful of cereal.  Kix, in this case.  Then while she's pecking away, I just grabbed her and dropped her back over the fence.  OK, the second time she got loose she did elude my first grab attempt, so I just slowly followed her until she got herself cornered between the fence and the barn.  The trick is to not move too fast.  (For an apt comparison, picture the knife-fights in Dune).  Easy-peasy, but I did suffer a very minor scratch on my hand from one of her vicious talons feet.  She appears to be learning, though, and I expect future confrontations to be much more interesting and/or painful.  Good thing I have a lot of Kix.

Parenthetic:  I just did a Google image search for "Warrior Chicken" but none of those pics quite captures the ferocity I've had to deal with.  As usual, use your imagination.  Maybe I need to remind her that our turkey this year isn't all that big and I might begin to hunger for more flightless fowl later tonight.

Suffice to say, I will not be punked by a chicken!

So what are y'all thankful for?  I have a lot, but here's an abbreviated list:

  • The elder of the two grandkidlets is at the other grandparents' place for the holiday.  Half the noise/mess/chaos!
  • Moody's has upgraded my financial prospects from "incredibly hopeless" to merely "uncomfortably tight"
  • While the next-door neighbor has a six-pack of chickens, he only has one rooster and he does not "Barackadoodledoo!" at dawn.  In fact, he's basically silent.  I should dress him in a little mime costume.
And you?

11 comments:

  1. Happy Thanksgiving!

    Speaking of incredibly hopeless financial prospects, I worked last night and I have to work tonight.

    It pays for luxuries like food.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sucks having to be a maker instead of a taker.

      Delete
  2. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, Inno. And the wayward chicken, too.

    As for what I'm thankful for? This:

    Of all the things I’m thankful for on this day…family, friends, reasonable health… I thank God most of all for making me an American. Most all of the good things in my life begin and end with that one single fact.

    S'true, that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep. Being a born-n-bred American is a Thanksgiving trump card.

      Delete
  3. Late to wish a HTG to you and yours, but take it anyhow!

    I'm thankful for just about everything. I was born a thankful sort. Gotta admit that I'm a little down right now about our prospects as a nation.

    But it is what it is...and we will adjust. Can't really do anything about it, so we'll go with it.

    I'm with Infidel...pulling as much OT as I can right now, and grateful that it's available.

    Have a great Mayan Apocalypse, Inno! (It's okay to pull out the Mayan Apocalypse decorations now that Thanksgiving is behind us).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mayan Apocalypse decorations... Hmmm... I sense an opportunity to get rich!

      No refunds after Dec 22!

      Delete
  4. Well inno, I'm thankful for a new Grandson that slept through Thanksgiving Dinner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are definitely speakin' the same language!

      Also, my mother-in-law found a TV show she loves. It's about tow truck operators pulling people out of the snow up on Donner. Makes me think of ya.

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  5. I need to stop by more often Inno, I love your sense of humor. I am lazy in my old age. I hope you and yours had a great Thanksgiving!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey, hope you had a great TG - and the dogs as well.

    Your chicken story reminded me of a time, some years ago, when I lived on 5 acres. I had chickens, and let them run loose - come dark, they always headed back to the hen-house. I had one rooster, a white leghorn with an attitude. I was the only person he'd allow around the flock. Heck, it I left for a couple of days, my wife had to pack a hoe along just to collect the eggs.

    I was in the kitchen one morning when a neighbor came walking up the driveway with some friend of his, and the rooster was playing sentry between the kitchen and the driveway. The neighbor and his pal come walking up to him, and - unbelievably - bent over to pet the rooster! That didn't last long; there was some squawking and jumping and flashing of spurs, then the neighbor and his pal ran for their lives back down the driveway, with the rooster in hot pursuit.

    I think he only chased them maybe fifty feet or so; he came strutting back up the drive after a few minutes and resumed his sentry station. Made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Inno: I don't know if you can pass the Red Neck test: but you just might be a red neck if your front porch collapses, and more than three dogs die.

    Let me know how you score.

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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