Don't bank at W.F. They suck monkey pus. Seriously.
Until Wednesday, though, I'm pretty much powerless. All I can do is recklessly LASH OUT at anything and anybody nearby - innocent or not. And how better to do that than by a poetry slam, right? OK, I'll go first.
There once was an Infidel from Manhattan
Whose date leaked all the air and got flattened
After a big swig of gin,
He wiped off his chin
and said "I wonder if that bicycle innertube patch kit thing will avail me at all or will I be forever lonely?"
OK, the meter is a little off on that one. But you get the drift.
Maybe a haiku would work better...
Sergeant Pennington
Honored Air Force Veteran
Does not like Croce
If you've had a rotten Monday and also feel the need to recklessly lash out, feel free. Limerick, haiku, freestyle rap, Shakespearean sonnet, doesn't matter - just let 'er rip. The object of your poesy may be real, fictitious, imaginary, or even yours truly. I don't care. Say whatever you want about me**. It's not like you're going to make my day somehow worse.
If you've had an uncommonly wonderful Monday, please keep that to yourself. I don't wanna hear it.
**As long as your language is no worse than PG rated, K?
Monkey pus? ROFLMFAO!
ReplyDeleteI was kinda stumped on what I could use to illustrate how awful that bank is. Then it suddenly came to me: monkey pus! And that about sums it up.
DeleteMy Monday just got better because I don't bank with WF. It's all relative. Then again, my bank is not any better.
ReplyDeleteThere was a time, long ago, when I actually LIKED my bank. Then, through a series of mergers, it ended up as a BofA. Gack. Seems like they all stink now.
DeleteLimmerick written in Gitmo, translated from Arabic (author unknown):
ReplyDeleteThere once was a goat herd from Riyahd
The imams took all the goats he had
He joined Mujahadin
Oh the places he's been
But it's not so much fun now, this jihad
Limmericks rule, but haikus? Not so much
Haiku stinks, we know
It sucks, it bites and it blows
But it won't die down
I was worried the goat thing was going to head in a very different direction. Whew! :)
DeleteI am honored. Really, rilly, and truly.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm no poet.
And I know it.
Cool. 'Round here we really do appreciate those in uniform.
DeleteLemme throw down what we wangstas call an "M n M"
ReplyDeleteI got up outa my bed
got a bump on my ****in' head
I just had to yell ****
it felt like I got hit by a truck
Now don't mean be ********
but now my head is a-itchin'
Then I grabbed a ****in' cerial box
and took a bite of the intox- icating- cerial
I found out it was 100 days old
and the milk wasn't cold
I don't mean to be so bold
but WHAT THE ***** IS THE MATTER TODAY
So anyway I'm with ya innon it's been a Garfield proportions monday
Dude - that's a serious juxtaposition! Lead off with some very edgy lyrics and close it out with a Garfield reference. That's like, pure Renaissance, man!
DeleteI've had a really great Monday. Well, until my date got a leak and flew across the room.
ReplyDeleteShe was so young. I bought her last week. Why lord? Why?
A couple of Lowku, a relatively obscure form of Slobovian literature.
ReplyDeleteMy dog's fart woke me up this mornin,'
Dark clouds cover the sun,
Butt at least I ain't married to Michelle.
A gaggle of men in suits
Pandering to the diseased media,
Super Tuesday sucks.
Hee. The writings of the Slobovs contain much truth.
DeleteI ain't writ no poetree since furever.
ReplyDeleteCan't blame the banks
Economy's tanked
And I'd like to meet Barry
Slappin' leather
I had a pretty good Monday.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'...
I'll give it try...
ReplyDeleteBank of America sucks too,
Violets are blue.
a
ReplyDeleteI bought love. A real bought love. We had a $39.95 connection. Then she ran out of air. My heart was broken. It didn't even make Olivia Wilde jealous.
ReplyDeleteI bought love. A real bought love. We had a $39.95 connection. Then she ran out of air. My heart was broken. It didn't even make Olivia Wilde jealous.
ReplyDeleteRoses are red
ReplyDeleteViolets are blue
your poetry stinks
and so do you.
I'm gonna do a poem on Wednesday cuz' I don't bank with anybody.
ReplyDeleteLife is down,
I'm gonna frown,
I live in a hut.
Have a HUGE butt,
don't have a date,
Now I live in a crate,
Still have a HUGE butt,
Discovered King Tut,
Stole some ham,
Burnt ham, ****,
Killed a fox,
Live in a box,
Still a Huge butt,
Now I'm rich,
Snobby, flaming...idiot
Still HUGE butt,
Now I'm a glut...ton
And probably just misspelled glutton.
That was the single lamest poem I have ever read. I will never get those 23 seconds of my life back. I am stupider for having read it. I award you no points, and may Gog haver mercy on your soul.
DeleteYou wouldn't believe what we went through with WF Financial, our mortgage, and flood insurance.
ReplyDeleteNot only does WF suck, they are evil. Do a google search on their laundering drug money.
ReplyDelete