Friday, April 8, 2011

I'mma let ya finish

First of all, I want to thank the fine people of Wisconsin and elsewhere who enabled me to achieve this historic victory.  With an approximately .003% advantage in the vote count, my victory is a strong refudiation of Governor "Adolf" Walker's fascist power grab.  All the millions of dollars spent on ads, signs, and bribes has proven to be worth every cent.


I'mma let ya finish, but I just want ya to know that Beyonce has some serious junk in the trunk.  This isn't over yet.

Excuse me, loser. (aside: Psst...Somebody shut off his mic.) I WON. Period. You are doing the people of Wisconsin a disservice with these antics.  I know for a fact that this vote count will hold up, because we are Progressive enough to have some "extra" ballots set aside, just in case.  I WON.  I will rule that everything you rethuglikkkans try to do is unconstitutional and you won't be able to stop me.


Did I say "Beyonce"? Sorry. I meant the "County Clerk."  And did I say "junk in the trunk?"  I meant "junk in the spreadsheet."


I don't care about your spreadsheet.  I fart in the general direction of your spreadsheet.  Now, depart, or I will suck up your soul and/or taunt you further.


OK, I was going to wait a little bit longer because this is so much fun.  But I can't stand listening to your wheezy Library Lady voice for one more second.  I see your stash of "uncounted" votes and raise you 11,000 votes.  Over 7000 of which are for ME!


Damn.


Double damn!

14 comments:

  1. Heh. Nice work yet again, Inno!

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  2. Inno: Caught your site from over at Iowntheworld and it is really great! But has Wisconsin counted all the dead votes yet? Where's ACORN when you really need them? I demand to know how many hanging chads there were.......

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  3. Buck - thanks again

    Christopher - Yes, I love it, too. Hope it holds up.

    Odie - We're all losers now.

    Barry - thanks for comin' by. I'm not as funny as iOTW but at least I don't put pictures of pig poo in my posts like BFH did the other day.

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  4. You earn bonus points for the Holy Grail reference, and for adding Jabba the Lib at the end.

    Well done sir.

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  5. Well done, Inno, I'm glad things worked out, this is the best flub since dewey vs truman.

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  6. Blogger needs a "Like" button.

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  7. It's always nice to see liberals gloat too soon and then have to be brought back down to Earth (or below where most of them are headed.)

    P.S. Baseball is here. Will the Giants repeat?

    As for the AL East, I say watch out for the Orioles (seriously)

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  8. Barry - all the dead votes are in Illinois. I think the Runaway Democrats went down to fetch them a few weeks ago, got drunk, and forgot to bring them back.

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  9. LOLOLOL! Thanks for the laugh, Inno.

    I watched her premature victory statement and I coulda died laughing then, too.

    She's a breathy, space-cadet new-age-y clueless type.

    Fail, fail, double plus fail, lady. Now be sure and call us when the space shuttle lands.

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Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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