White House briefing room. CIA Director Panetta, DNI Clapper, NSA Tom Donilon, SecState Clinton, SecDef Gates and of course the pResident all present.
[Obama] "So, whazzup in Libya?"
[Clinton, cyring] "Some Libyan official called me 'The Old Lady of Malice.' That's so rude! I, I, I'm not that old. Some people think I'm still kinda hot!"
[Obama] "Gates, tell your people to start bombing both sides, rebels AND loyalists. We can't have them upsetting Hillary. 'Cuz you know how it gets around here when she's having a bad day. Just don't hit any civilians. Unless, of course, they really deserve it."
[Gates] "Aye, Mr. President."
[Obama] "And one last thing, what's this about $600k for a gurgling toad sculpture?"
[Gates] "Sir, it isn't a real toad. It's Helen Thomas. We're trying to help you get a handle on unemployment. Nobody else would hire her, so, um..."
[Obama] "Understood. I consider that a bargain."
[Biden] "Sir, are you sure about bombing the rebels?"
[Obama] "Well, like Timothy Leary once said: 'Cry havoc and let's lip the frogs of Gwar!"
[Panetta] "I thought that was Shakespeare."
[Obama] "Don't be stupid. Shakespeare died a few years before Gwar even played they're first show. How could he have known?"
[Biden, nauseated] "I licked a frog once, and I did get quite a buzz. But after this Helen Thomas/toad discussion, I think I need a sicksack."
[Clapper] "Shakespeare and Nostradamus were good buddies. I betcha ol' Nostry told Bill that there would be a band called Gwar some day."
[Donilon] "You're all crazy. It was Andy Warhol. And what he said was 'Cry havoc, and everybody will be famous for 15 minutes, lipping off a can of Campbell's soup."
[puzzled expressions] "Who are you?"
[Donilon] "I'm the National Security Advisor."
[Obama] "I have no idea who you are. Get out of here. But first, get me a can of Fresca."
[Clapper] "Since we have no plan at all, maybe we should go with 'Cry havoc, and hope for the fog of war."
[Obama] "I like it, except for that 'war' thing." [standing up, extra erect] "Hear ye! Hear ye! Cry havoc and hope and change for the fog of kinetic military actions!"
[Obama] "Ya know the coolest part? My buddy Jeff Immelt runs General Electric. They do a LOT of defense contracting.
[Biden, giggling] "And they don't pay any taxes"
[Obama] "Yeah, that's one of the benefits of being my buddy. But the more people we bomb, the more money GE makes. Which then goes right into my campaign coffer. Bwaaahaaahaaahaa!"