Barry decisive foreign policy

White House briefing room.   DNI Clapper, VP Biden, SecState Clinton, and of course the pResident all present.

[Clapper] "Good news from Libya, Mr. President.  The rebels there are finally learning how to shoot their weapons. "

[Obama] "Good, good.  Maybe now they'll be able to install an anti-American fundamentalist theocracy without our help."

[Biden] "Wait a sec.  They're just now figuring it out?"

[Clapper] "Yeppers."

[Biden] "They start a bloody rebellion and THEN learn to shoot?  Isn't that kinda like wiping your azz and THEN taking the crap?  Now, momma always said I wasn't the sharpest hook in the tacklebox, but to me that seems really, really dumbtastic."

[Clinton] "You have to keep in mind that we're dealing with bedouins who have no education."

[Biden] "It's an AK-47!  It's like the, um, even simpler than a digital camera!  Yikes!  Are we sure we want to be setting our policies based on this level of idiocy?"

[Obama] "Joe brings up a valid point.  Maybe it is time for a new Middle East strategy."

[Biden] "Gahhh!" [leaps]

The Vice President dives headlong under the table, like a Hollywood action hero leaping to avoid an explosion.

[Clinton] "Joe, knock it off!  Explain yourself!"

[Obama] "Hill, I'm in charge.  I'll handle this.  Joe, knock it off!  Explain yourself!"

[Biden, from under table] "Last time you tried to decide on a Middle East strategy, you completely missed the dartboard and hit me in the cheek with the dart.  My shoulder is still sore from the tetanus shot."

[Obama] "SoOoRrrry!  Like the Libyans just learning how to shoot, I'm just now learning how to throw."

[Biden] "Fine.  Go ahead and come up with a new strategy.  But I'm staying out of the line of fire 'til it's safe."

[Obama] "I wasn't going to throw a dart this time, anyway.  Come back up."

[Biden] "OK"

[Obama] "I figured instead, I'd do some hallucinogens and try to have a vision.  You know, wisdom from the Great Beyond."

[Obama] "Bring forth the Magic Dust"

A White House maid arrives with some Carpet Fresh.  The pResident snorts a goodly bit of it.

[Obama] "A m a z i n g....  I can hear the words of my father....  Hold on....  GAAHHAHHH!  The walls!  The walls!  The walls are crawling with giant fanged Funky Winkerbeans!*  Get 'em off me!"

[Biden, to himself] "We're so screwed."



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* I'll send a dollar to the first person to tell me where that idea came from