Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Tuesday Slow Nuesday

Haven't seen nor heard much from barry since he got his lip busted...
Hillary once wrote a book "It Takes a Village to Raise a Child"
Obama's next autobiography will be "It Takes an Elbow to Shut My Mouth."


Seems like we could shut the mouth of Julian Assange and his DikiLeaks if we really wanted to.  But I don't think barry minds too much that this is all making Hillary look bad.  Once something comes out that makes barry look really bad, then the gloves will come off...


"You're an Everlasting Gobstopper of Stupid"

I dig metaphoric insults like that.  If you know some good ones, please lemme know.


RE: Christmas Tree Bomber

This kid seems like a total creep.  Showed up in court beaming a big smile.  People who've known him for a while say that he cheered "This is sooooo awesome!" when he saw our countrymen jumping from the burning Twin Towers and that he's been on a jihadi kick for years, since at least 2005.   I don't think the entrapment claims will stick.  He wasn't encouraged to do anything illegal, (quite the contrary, they tried to dissuade him) but merely enabled by the agents so they could see how far he'd go and/or see who else he would contact.  Kudos to the FBI.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Too close to home **UPDATED**

Moogie asks in the comments of the previous thread:
Hey, Inno! What the heck is happening at your tree lighting events?!?!

Well it turns out that psycho Somali kids don't like Christmas...
If Billy Idol made a baby with Grace Jones, it would look like this
The rumor going around is that the bombing was going to be allowed, to rid the city of Portland of a few of those awful consumerists and Christians.  But at the last moment an ecohippie realized that a big bomb going off might disrupt spotted owl habitat so the police intervened.  This rumor remains unconfirmed...

Here's the "Salman Alfarisi Islamic Center" where the scumbag alleged bomber Mohamed O. Mohamud (I guess mooselimbs can't even figure out how to spell that name) partook of peaceful Religion of Peace peaceful religious stuff...
Where peaceful Religion of Peace stuff happens

Has a real inviting look to it, eh?

The map is cropped down so you can't really see the scale, but the mosque is on my street, about a mile south.  I drive past it at least 4x a day on average.  It is practically next door to the 7-11 where my wife gets her daily slurpee fix.  A guy I know did some drywall work inside, and he said there is no none zip nil nada furniture anywhere inside.  Also, he said it was dirty and smelled of BO inside.  Sounds like a great place.  There have been reports of money moving through this mosque to unsavory types, but as yet I can't recall them ever being officially charged with anything...


I'm just now hearing that there was an arson fire in the mosque this morning. Must not have been too extensive 'cuz I've already driven past it twice this morning and didn't notice much out of the ordinary.  I'll fill ya in with more info when I can...


The fire was limited to just the imam's office.  Haven't heard anything more yet.  But what's in an office?  Computers?  Files?  Records?  Velvet Elvis posters?  Yep, things that a bad guy might want to go up in smoke when the FBI is getting curious.  I have no idea the floor plan of the mosque, or whether the office is accessible from outside.  But Patti in the comments is looking more and more correct...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

NorKs still a nuisance

After all these years, North Korea is still lobbing artillery shells and pretty much just being a pain.  Why is that?  Why?  Duh, you already know that answer...  Democrats!!  Let Sam and Rodney spell it out for you

(warning: some kinda garbled naughty language in the middle of this)


Hey, kids!  It's that time of year again, where your (relatively) humble blog author waxes crabby about the weather!  Except it isn't that time of year.  Except that it is.  Yeah, weird.  Normally November in western Oregon is "falling leaves and decaying jack-o-lanterns that haven't been thrown away yet time of year".  Not "skate sideways at 10mph on the way home from early job time of year."  And certainly NOT "Hey, that garbage truck is getting sideways and headed right for me!" time of year.  Thankfully it WAS "Ha!  That garbage truck curbed it like a moron before he plowed into me" time of year. 

See, most years we get a trifling amount of snow that melts almost immediately.  This happens once or twice per winter and the kids get all jazzed about sledding and stuff.  Then it is melted and gone before the little 'uns have even figured out how to put on their snow gear.  **Nelson Muntz laugh har-har**  Last year we had a gnarly cold snap, but it was dry.  So we actually went a whole winter with no snow.  So snow is a pleasant yet fairly rare event around here.

Maybe some old timer remembers better than me, but I can't recall it EVER snowing on the valley floor in November.    Until last night.  It was only an inch or so, but the roads were already wet from earlier rains.  They froze up and now we have us a little of this:

Except this is from Seattle 2 years ago and we aren't quite as stupid as those stupid Seattle hippie dips.  So our little ice day has so far been neither this exciting nor this ridiculous.  But it is really darned slick out there.  That garbage truck tried to turn left in front of me but ended up continuing to go straight.  Sideways.  Broadside. Abeam.  Whatever you want to call it.  I got a real good look at the truck's profile before he hit curb and stopped.  Missed me by about 10 or 12 feet which seems like a lot.    But it really isn't.  When 60,000 lb trucks are doing pirouettes close enough that they're in Shaq's jump-shot range, that's a little snug for this guy's taste.  

Then the best part is, we have an expected high today of only 30.  So it probably won't thaw.  And even if it does thaw it won't evaporate.  And then with tonight's expected low of 15, it'll be like the zamboni just came by and smoothed out the ice for us.  If this is what November has for us, man, January is going to be crazy. 

Friday, November 19, 2010

TSA branching into publishing industry

OK, this is so rude that it should make me mad.  And it does.  And it makes me laugh a lot, too.  My response seems to depend on which of the many voices in my head is dominant at the time...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Let's get ready to Ruuuummmmmble!

In this corner, weighing in at a handful of stark raving hateful idiots who do great harm to the Gospel: Westboro Baptist "Church."

In the opposite corner, weighing in at an uncountable horde of untethered rage: The mooselimb population of Dearborn, Michigan.

Waiting nervously at ringside is the Emergency Room staff of every hospital in the greater Dearborn area.

Gateway Pundit (see link above) is reporting that the lovey-dovey "God Hates Fags" crew from Westboro is going to protest in front of Dearborn's big Islamic Center, reminding the lovey-dovey "Death to Those Who Insult Islam" people that Mo was a pedophile.  On November 18th.  I don't know how this is going to play out, but I hope no cops or innocents get caught up in it.  There is no way this goes smoothly.

TSA's Greatest Hits

Reichfrau Napolitano and the TSA Orchestra have been busy in the recording studio lately. So far they have four tracks, which pretty much fills out side A:

1. See Me, Feel Me (scroll down to see the hit video)
2. Come Fly Comply With Me
3.  Oh, What a Lucky Nan, She Was (this one is kind of sad :(  )
4.  I Wanna Hold Your Gland

But their record label is really pressuring them to come up with some more material and finish this project.  They still need a few more tracks and are seeking suggestions.  So far I've thought of "Goose Me in the Sky with Diamonds" and  "Pretty (Hard to) Fly for a White Guy" but that still leaves room for a few more songs.


Monday, November 15, 2010

Barry brutal Asia trip

The pResident and his advisors are gathered for a cabinet meeting...

[Obama] "...quantitative easing will..."

[Biden, barging in] "Hey, guys! Long time no see! Like, there was that 'shellacking' of an election and then 'boom!' off to Asia, it's like I haven't seen you at all lately." [takes long slurp of his Slurpee]

[Axelrod, eyeroll and exaggerated sigh]

[Obama] "Joe. For the n-teenth and hopefully last time, WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER. It makes it too easy for a terrorist to wipe out the whole chain off command with one lucky RPG. Now, run along."

[Biden] "Actually, I think terrorism isn't much of a threat these days. I'm really impressed with the TSA lately. 'Specially that kinda plump chick at Dulles. She has really nice hands. Like, she felt me up in ways I've never been touched before.  It was so good I got back in line and went through security again.  Lemme tell ya, my second chakra was ready to take the Express to Toledo!  I plan on going back tomorrow.  Gotta enjoy it while I can."

[Obama] "What do you mean by 'while I can'? It is a permanent security protocol."

[Biden] "Well, you know it is only a matter of time 'til some terrorist packs some 'splosives in a hollow something-or-other, like a plastic easter egg.  I'd make it out of delrin 'cuz it is easy to machine and wouldn't set off a metal detector, but that's just me.  Shove it up his keester like they always do in the prison movies, and board the plane.  Then just sit there like the Cadbury Bunny 'brk-brk-brk-brk-BARACK!' and lay that egg right there in the lavatory, unscrew the 'egg' and mix the ingredients.  Blam! Gonna take more than a spritz of air freshener and a moist towelette to undo that kind of lavatory problem!"

[Obama] "Egads!  Joe is right!  Wake up Janet!"

[Anonymous staffer jabs Napolitano with a black PaperMate, medium tip]

[Napolitano, sitting up abruptly] "Terrorists have grungy mullets, 'cuz they've been sleeping in their Trans-Ams ever since their old ladies kicked 'em out of the single-wide."

[Obama, confused] "Whaaa?"

[Napolitano] "Sir!  The biggest threat to national security, in my estimation, is guys with Trans-Ams.  And sometimes Novas, if they have a Confederate flag sticker and/or jacked up rear end with really big tires."

[Obama] "What about people smuggling bombs onto planes, by way of their, um, bodily orofices?"

[Napolitano] "I've never heard of such a thing."

[Biden, freaking out] "What?  Haven't you ever seen COPS?  There have been almost 1000 episodes over the last 23 years, and exactly THREE did not have a crook trying to hide drugs or weapons, you know, 'up there'. "

[Napolitano] "Sorry.  I'm not as big a fan as you."

[Biden, proudly] "NOBODY is as big a fan of COPS as this guy right here." [points to self] "But I'm worried about this actually happening.  It'll happen once, then it'll happen a bunch more times from copycats, and next thing ya know, terrorists will be releasing these bomblets all over.  It'll be like the log chute ride at the Six Flags.  And then you'll overreact and instead of profiling, you'll increase the TSA scrutiny.  And guys like me will come out of a TSA check walkin' kinda funny and singing 'You make, I say, You make me feel like a natural woman!'.  That's what I meant by 'enjoy it while I can' because I'm convinced it's about to get real uncomfortable.  And I'm really ready to change the subject.  So, boss, how was it in India?  Must've been cool to visit the homeland of the Slurpee.  You know how there are like almost no Starbucks in Alabama, but they're all over the place in Seattle, like every intersection?  Cuz that's where they started out!  I betcha there are 7-11 stores all over the place in Mumbai.  For that same reason.  It'd be like walking on hallowed ground.  And then you went to Innoneedsia where you grew up.  That must have been really nostalgic."

[Obama] "Joe, are you quite through?  If you plan on continuing your rant, you'll have to remember to take a breath every once in a while."

[Biden] "Oh, yeah" [noisy inhale] "Much better!  Where was I?  Oh, yeah, and you seemed to have ticked off the Germans AND the Chinese with this 'quantitative easing' stuff.  It's like you're waking up all the Axis powers all over again.  And 'quantitative easing' sounds like negative, like giving morphine to somebody on the edge of death to ease their pain.  You should just call it 'printing money' cuz people can relate to that and it sounds much more festive."

[Obama] "Joe, umm, China was our ally at the time.  It was Japan that was part of the Axis."

"Chinese, Japanese, whatever..."

[Biden, continuing] "Who cares.  You really got stomped on pretty much this whole trip.  Like Mike Tyson going up against Pee Wee Herman.  I mean, like, '80s Tyson before he got all cracked out and stuff.  Or, maybe more like the flag football team from the Rio Pequeño School of Adaptive Spincast Fishing going against the '78 Steelers Iron Curtain.  Nobody took you seriously.  At all.  I found it kind of funny."

[Obama] "You're the only one who is entertained by all this.  Take Joe out back and subject him to some advanced TSA screening procedures."

Friday, November 12, 2010

Bestest blog readers on the planet!

I am now a "professional" blogger, in that I have received compensation for my blogging.  Wooo!  You see, one of my readers has come through in a BIG WAY. I really want to thank this person by name, but I'm not sure this person would want be called out like that.  So, anyway, you know who you are and be assured that I appreciate it!  And if I get a go-ahead from this person, I'll gladly offer much more personalized thank yous!

What you see here are a couple Blazer tix this reader gave me.  Please also note where it says "COURTSIDE" as in just a couple rows behind the scorers' table!  And a parking pass! 

Don't be counting on a lot of blog content on Tuesday the 7th.  I'm gonna be kinda occupied...  But I hope to have a bunch of really good close-up pix of sniveling Suns lamenting their humiliating loss!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Oregon people...

...have a reputation for being a little weird.  Not that I've done much to dispel that "myth."  Whenever a customer brings in something to be engraved that is at all unusual, I'm asked to come out of my machine cave and offer my suggestions and/or caveats and just plain ol' decide if it is do-able.

Today a guy brought in a life-size brass apple.  He seemed pretty cool.  It is hollow and he intends to store some cremains in it.  I get that kind of thing a lot.  We talked about how I'd clamp it in the fixture without damaging it, what he wanted engraved and where, etc... He mentioned having been a machinist years ago, and told tales of some of the challenging jobs he'd done.  He also mentioned that the last time he had something engraved it was a Vietnam-era Gerber fighting knife.  Those are notorious for being formed of Wicked Hard steel, and he went on to say that the engraver went through 6 diamond bits trying to finish the job.

To the ladies who may be reading, this kind of shop talk is guy-speak for establishing Status (note the capital 'S') among fellow men.  It's a guy thing you wouldn't understand. :)  Or he could be saying "I know what I'm talking about, so don't quote me some BS rip-off price."  Either way, it's all cool.

But then I noticed an itsy-bitsy spider was dangling off his face by its web.  It was so small I was tempted to ignore it, but I just couldn't. 

"Sorry, but, umm, excuse me.  You have a little spider hanging out with you."  When he tried to look down and see it, of course the spider just swung around as the guy turned his head, avoiding detection.  So I gathered the little guy up and shook him off on the counter.

"Thanks," he says.

"No prob."

I bring my hand down abruptly on the interloper...  **splat!!**

"Hey!  You shouldn't have done that!  Spiders are self-aware!  You shouldn't go around killing things that are self aware!  Ever see a spider crawling along your floor, and as soon as you look at him, he knows he's being looked at, so he stops and turns to face you???  That means he is self-aware!!"

The smart-butt in me wanted to say "Them thar spiders is smart.  They gots, like, radar and stuff!"  but managed instead to say "Actually, no.  I either whisk them outside or just splat 'em like I just did to this other one."

"Seriously, you shouldn't have done that."

"Well, I sometimes put 'em outside, but when they get all up in my face, well, to me that's a Death Sentence."

"But it was MY face!"

OK, I was really wanting to confront the guy with something like "So, you have a personalized Gerber Death Knife, but killing a spider is supposed to be uncool?" but I managed to stifle it.  We got back to business and shop talk, like the whole spider thing never happened.

But now I'm a little worried.  This guy seemed really knowledgeable about spider sentience.  Have I done some lasting damage?  Will the ecosystem recover?  Have I now a ton of bad karma?  I have this nagging feeling that I've just ruined my entire future.  Either that or people from Oregon are just kinda screwy.  I could really use some reassurance right about now...

Thank a Vet today

Jacked this from i Own The World

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Childhood cruelties

When I was a kid, there was a boy in my elementary school who I won't name right now, though I remember him well.  He was treated shamefully.  He had a hairlip that had been surgically repaired but it didn't turn out that great.  He was also from a low-income family, so he always wore hand-me-downs and looked kind of shabby.  But there was nothing really wrong with him.  But those two minor things made him almost an abomination.  For no better reason than having poor parents and a scar on his lip, kids would routinely beat him up (at worst) and utterly avoid him (at best).  It bothered me.  Sadly, I didn't do anything about it.  I didn't join in when he was picked on, but I did not one thing to deter it, either.  30+ years later it still bugs me sometimes.  I have no idea what ever became of this kid, but after all the abuse he took, it would be a miracle if he ended up "OK" and not suicidal or in prison.

Then today, the Washington Post puts out an article about Obama's childhood.  Think about this:  Little Barry had one absentee psycho commie dad, another absentee psycho muzzie dad, a mother named Stanley, a gay tranny for a nanny, and the kids he grew up with him teased him about "being chubby and walking like a duck."  That's one great big double-helping of dysfunction right there.  And none if it was really his fault.

I felt a tinge of sympathy for Obama.  Briefly.  Very briefly.  But I got over it and feel much better now.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Fast Times at New Delhigh

In the bustling city of New Delhi, the pResident is getting a tour while Michelle goes shopping...

[Obama] "So is your new deli kosher?  Halal?  Or can a guy get some pork there?  I s'pose there won't be a whole lot of sacred cow being served there.  I refuse to patronize an establishment that doesn't have wagyu beef on the menu.  I guess that pretty much rules out me visiting your new deli.  Oh well, your loss."

[tour guide] **eyeroll**

[Michelle, catching up the the pResident's entourage] "Baby, what do you think of this new sari I bought?  Does it make my butt look big?"

[Obama] "No.  Your butt makes your butt look big.  The sari makes you look like a Hare Krishna trying to shoplift a water buffalo under his robe."

In a fit of rage, the first lady delivers a punishing uppercut that launches the pResident into a ballistic path that brings him down alone, far away, in the foothills of the Himalayas.  From there, the pResident begins his long and demanding ascent, to find the wise and elusive Guru said to live in the region...

[Obama, wheezing and panting] "Greetings," [gasp] "O Great Guru!"

[Guru] "Welcome, young president."

[Obama] "Mind if I" [pant] "light up?" [pulls Virginia Slim from his personalized silver ciggy holder]

[Guru] "At this high elevation, it is not recommended."

pResident Obama takes a long drag off his delicate smoke.  Hypoxia leads to a dizzying headrush.  The pResident loses his balance and begins to tumble down the mountainside...

[Obama] "Owww!...  Ooof!...  Gaaah!... My shoe!...  Yee-ouch!"

Gathering himself at the bottom of the mountain, the pResident finishes his smoke - which miraculously stayed 'tween his purple lips the whole way down. He musters his strength and renews his ascent...

[Obama] "O Great Guru, I seek the wisdom of the ages."

[Guru] "But first you will apolgize."

[Obama] "Yes.  Of course.  America sucks.  We have been arrogant and imperialistic and downright mean."

[Guru] "No.  I mean you.  Personally.  For many months you travel, speaking of sipping Slurpee like that is a bad thing.  My nephew operate four 7-11 franchise in the US state of Oregon.  He do good business selling the slurpee.  Especially the wife of the blogger innominatus.  My nephew make much profit from her!  So my nephew burn incense to Ganesha, the great red elephant, causing your blue donkey to lose the election."

[Obama] "But the slurpee reference is just metaphoric, representing a distraction!"

[Guru] "Jumping Vishnu on a pogo stick!  That is not an apology!  तुम अपनी आंखों से बाहर रखा है, बच्चे करेंगे "

The guru raises his bare foot.  He strikes the pResident in the forehead with his weatherbeaten sole, and the pResident tumbles down the mountainside...

[Obama] "Owww!...  Ooof!...  Gaaah!... My shoe!...  Yee-ouch!"

Nearly exhausted, the pResident makes one last climb up the treacherous mountain way...

[Obama] "Guru, I sincerely apologize.  I will make no more slurpee references, and I will punch Biden for making his dumb racist comments about all the convenience stores being owned by Indians."

[Guru] "Accepted.  But remember ObaWon, you are not a jedi yet!"

[Obama, quizzical look] "What?"

[Guru] "Sorry.  I've just always wanted to say that.  So, what is your question?"

[Obama] "Guru, I don't understand why my message of hopenchange has fallen so flat, and why my agenda hasn't been better received."

[Guru] "Aahhhhh....  young pResident, consider the Bengal Tiger.  Imagine a tiger in a zoo.  He is well fed and well taken care of.  What are your thoughts on this tiger?"

[Obama] "Just lay around all day and eat free food, while legions of admirers file by?  Sounds great!  Throw in an XBox and that'd be heaven on earth!"

[Guru] "Say, one day, that the tiger attacks his keeper and jumps the fence.  He flees into the jungle where he must fight to survive."

[Obama] "Let me be clear, I'd say that cat acted stupidly."

[Guru] "But the tiger disagrees with you.  He would rather risk going hungry and have freedom, than luxuriate in a prison."

[Obama] "Damn, that's a dumb cat."

[Guru] "This is the essence of your problem."

[Obama] "Now I'm totally lost.  I thought my problem was poor messaging - that people don't understand how benevolent my leadership has been.  Really, who among us isn't into getting free stuff from the government?"

[Guru] "No.  Your problem is that the people know all too well your 'benevolence.'  But they reject it."

[Obama] "Stupid racists!"

[Guru] "No, not that either.  The people may value other things more than financial benefits.  They may value family, or friends, or freedom, or any number of things more than they value getting goodies from the government."

[Obama, laughing] "OK, I've been told that they smoke some really good hash here.  It is obvious that you've been hittin' it pretty hard.  You're talking nonsense."

[Guru] "The tiger has acted in his own best interest.  He values freedom above anything, even life.  So for him, this is a good move.  All individuals do all things in their own self-interest.  Always.  Even when a generous person chooses to give to a charity or makes some other sacrifice, it is because that person has determined that doing so will put his life closer to the ideal he aims for.  He has acted in his own interest.  That his actions have benefited others is merely a side effect.  People may make decisions that actually INCREASE their own financial burden, if it results in an improvement in those other areas of life that they value more highly."

[Obama] "Whoa.  That's deep, dude."

[Guru] "Remember that blue-faced guy in Braveheart?  What was it he said?"

[Obama] "His most famous line is 'but first you will blo...' "

[Guru, interrupting] "No, not in real life.  In the movie.  At a pivotal moment he cried 'FREEDOM!'  This he valued above all else.  Many Americans are like the tiger.  They value their freedom.  They would rather NOT be the recipient of government benefits.  They would rather shoulder their own load and face the associated risks than depend on their neighbors being taxed.  Hence, they vote in ways that appear to people like you to be not in their own best interests.  It is because you don't understand what they consider to really be their own best interests."

[Obama] "Stupid Americans.  No wonder I've never understood them."

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Photography blues and random randomness...

Future daughter-in-law borrowed our camera a while back and finally got around to returning it.  Unnnnnnfortunately, she forgot the little USB cable.  So the pix I snapped of an engraved .300 WSM cartridge are still kinda stuck in the camera.  Which isn't entirely a bad thing, as it seemed to be really struggling with focusing on the reflective metal.  Ah well...  Innominatus reader aA sent them to me to be engraved and asked that I engrave and keep one as a souvenir.  Photography is one of those things I'd like to be good at but just ain't.  Probably 'cuz the engineer in me insists on messing with every setting, trying to make it perfect.  My wife'll just pull out the point-n-shoot and get good pix pretty much every time.  Meanwhile, the elk walks away or the sunset fades or the grandkid stops doing whatever cute thing I wanted a picture of, while I'm still trying to decide if I need to change the exposure settings...

Which reminds me, if you have a little trinket you'd like engraved let me know.  If it is something that is small and inexpensively shipped, send me an email and we'll work out the details. 

This morning at my early AM job, my "boss" (early 20's dingbat chick) was singing a Phil Collins tune:
"I could say day, and you'd say night
Tell me it's black when I know thats it's white
It's always the same it's just a shame that's all..." 

I told her I was surprised she knew the song so well.  She said back "Of course I know it!  I looove those really old songs!"  OK, that's high school era for me.  Really old... Harrumph!  She could've punched me right in the McNuggets and it would have been less traumatizing than hearing the words "really old"

Friday, November 5, 2010

Lefties lacking coping skills

Looking through OrbusMax this morning, I stepped in a pile of lefty poo that said, among other noisome things, this:
Our Founding Fathers put the Second Amendment in there for a reason, and that was to enable the People to protect themselves against tyranny. In fact, it was Thomas Jefferson who said that it’s good for a country to have a revolution every twenty years. I hope that’s not where we’re going, but, you know, if the Republicans take our nation the way they promise to take it, my fellow patriots on the left are going to start looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and ask ourselves, what can we do to turn this country around? And I’ll tell you the first thing we need to do is take some Supreme Court justices out.
(Emphasis in original, bold added)

The thread has well over 100 comments, so I guess this blog has, like, actual traffic and regular readers.  When a commenter calls them out, the author falls back on the ever-popular "you wouldn't know satire if it kicked you in the balls" defense.  I've checked a number of online and actual ink-on-paper dictionaries, and none of them include a call to violence among their definitions of "satire." But hey, they're the ones with all the post-grad degrees in important stuff like Gender Studies.  So if they say "let's kill people" = "satire" then of course they must be right.  I must be just too darned unedumacated and lacking in erudition to recognize their brilliant satirizing skillz...  Yeah, that's it!

I like comment #25:

I’m trembling. What are you going to do, jab your fingers into your laptop’s keys with more ferocity?
No doubt there are lots of PO'd leftoids out there right now.  Let's keep an eye on 'em!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Win7 Networking Hero: I need you!

Changed broadband providers today at the shop.  The most modern PC is the only one with Windows 7 and it is the now only one that now refuses to see other PCs on our little network.  I do a lot of file sharing between 3 different PCs - one of them has XP and the other is just a glorified print spooler running 98.  The others all see each other as though nothing has changed, but the Win7 machine thinks it is alone on an island.  It still accesses internet fine but won't see shared resources on the old PCs.

When this 'puter was new a couple months ago, I had a similar problem, but I can't remember what I did.  I kinda remember there being a "trust all PCs on this side of the router" check box but I can find no such thing now.  I've banged on all the Troubleshooters but they are mostly useless.  From what I can find, all the right stuff is enabled.  I can ping the other PCs successfully and send files to the engraving machine controller but no shared folders!


The good, the bad...

The Good:
Oregonians sent Republicans to the state legislature.  Democrats had enjoyed substantial majorities in both houses, but we trimmed that considerably.  Last I heard, there was actually a pretty good chance of a TOTAL TIE in both houses, 15-15 and 30-30.  Since we have that accursed vote-by-mail, ballots are still being dickered over.  So I can't cheer too loudly yet.  But it is solid progress...

The Bad:
The greenie ecofreaks reached into the recycle bin and pulled out John Kitzhaber again.  Kitz was governor already once, back in the '90s.  He presided during the dot-com boom and the much ballyhooed "Silicon Forest" (brief) expansion of the tech sector here.  So he gets to pretend that he created a lot of jobs during his first tenure.  Not many of those jobs remain today, so he really should be boasting that he "rented them for a while" at great expense to taxpayers.

The Really, Really Ugly:
Kitz's plan for dealing with Oregon's multibillion budget problems:  Piddle away billions on light rail commuter projects that nodody rides.  Except criminals - they seem to like it.  Build it and they will come.  The drug dealers and street thugs, that is.  The other prong of Kitz's assault is VINYL WINDOWS.  Yes.  He's serious.  He wants to borrow RIDICULOUS amounts of money to install high-efficiency windows in all the schools and public buildings.  Yay.  The flip side of the coin is that Oregon has a Seismic Fetish about tearing down schools that aren't earthquake proof.  Then rebuilding outrageously fancy replacements.  I can't wait for an old school with crummy windows to get an upgrade and then be torn down a year or two later.  Here in Oregon, a broken window isn't a fallacy, it is the First Commandment of idiotic governance.

I should be happy with the election results this week.  But I just can't bring myself to smile about much of anything.  We're California without the headlines....

Monday, November 1, 2010

Barry big game

[Foulball] "Hello, I'm Chris Foulball and this is my partner Dirk Herbsneak.  Who, I assure you, despite his name and totally squinty eyes, has not been behind the truck sneaking bong rips.  If you're just joining us here at the Election Bowl, here's Dirk with a quick recap:"

[Herbsneak] "Dude.  Heh.  The DC Blues started off the game like really strong, dude.  Their unconventional Hopenchange offense was giving the Flyover Reds some serious trouble.  Heh heh.  Dude.  The Blame Bush play was getting them good yardage, especially when run from the shotgun formation.  And, dude, they were able to convert some long 3rd downs using the Racist! play. 

[Foulball] "But the Flyover Reds made some adjustments."

[Herbsneak] "Yeah.  They switched from a soft zone defense to what they call their T-Party lineup and they've stuffed the Blues ever since, dude.  The Blues have had no answer.  Each of their second half possessions has either resulted in a 3-and-out or a turnover."

[Foulball] "Any update on Coach Soros?"

[Herbsneak] "Dude.  Heh.  He went to the locker room.  We thought he may have been injured or something, but I think he's just trying to avoid this whole debacle, you know, disassociate himself from it."

[Foulball] "OK, thanks Dirk.  Obama takes the snap from center and rolls left.  Way left.  The mainstream media is trying to pick up the blitz... Pressure coming.  Obama is sacked for another long loss."

[Referee] **tweet** "Timeout Blue.  Their third and final time out."

[Foulball] "Alright, after several personal fouls and three consecutive sacks, the DC Blues are now looking at a 4th and goal from their own 11 yard line.  The clock is showing :04 left, with the Blues down by 8.  They need to get 89 yards on this last play.  Let's go down to the field...  Erin?"

[Erin Mandrews] "Chris, we're right outside the Blues huddle.  Let's see what we can hear."

[cameraman trains his lens on Blues huddle, soundman sticks a mic-on-a-stick over their heads]

[Obama] "Alright.  We're at the desperation point.  We absolutely must score on this play or the Flyover Reds will be the new champion.  Suggestions?"

[Holder] "Let's run the Racist! play again."

[Obama] "They've sniffed that out every time we've run it.  No."

[Biden, pointing at the grass] "Hey, look!  An earthworm!"

[Obama] "Nancy.  We need to do a Hail Mary, and you're like the closest thing we have to a Catholic.  Remind us.  How does that play work?"

[Pelosi] "Umm, if I remember right, it goes something like 'Hail Mary, mother of Hubbard, gave her dog a bone full of grace, pray... for...' and, um, that's about all I remember."

[Hillary] "Barry, if we're going for a Hail Mary, then let me be the QB.  Because you throw like a total fruitwad.  It's my turn to be the QB."

[Obama] "Shut up!  If you want to be the QB, you'll get your chance in the next primary election training camp.  For now it's my job.  But it is true that I throw like a fruitwad.  No offense, Barney."

[Barney Frank] "None taken."

[Obama] "...So maybe we should try a shorter pass."

[Barney] "It theems wike the stwong thafety, Sean Biewat, is intentionally avoiding any physical contact wiff me."

[Steny Hoyer] "Um, Barney, it's not just Sean.  A lot of us feel the same way."

[Barney] "I know.  But I weally think we can take advantage of this.  I'll wun a passing woute into his awea and then thwow me the baw.  I don't think he will want to tackle me."

[Obama] "Barney, do you really think you could get deep on Bielat?"

[Barney] "Oh, dearie.  Have you seen his bod?  I could definitely go deep on that."

[Obama] "Eww!  Eww!  That's not what I meant!  But now that you mention it..."

[Barney] "Just thwow me a scween path and bwock fo me."

[Obama] "OK, screen pass to Barney on 2.  Break!"

[Obama] "Hut!  Hut!"

[Chris Foulball] "Obama takes the snap.  He fakes it deep and throws a screen to Barney Frank.  The gimpy pass is a little short, but Barney goes down to get the low ball.  He pulls it in and heads downfield.  The exertion is clearly getting to him, as sweat is gushing out his pores.  His ab flab is swaying like a palm tree in a hurricane.  He's at the 30... He's at the 40...  He's across midfield, and the Reds' defensive backs seem reluctant to tackle him.  It's like they're each hoping someone else will do it so they won't have to touch his sweaty, lumpy body.  He's at the 30... He's at the 20...  Are we about to witness a miracle play?  Is Barney about to score the miracle touchdown?"

Stay tuned...


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