[Jarrett] "We need to ditch Biden. The guy's a loon. Get Hillary on the ticket. That'll give us a thin veneer of centrism while we continue with radical redistributionism. Might be enough to fool some of the rust-belt union types."
Obama's phone rings
[Obama] " Hello. Commander in Chief speaking."
[Biden, on other end of phone call] "Hey, boss! Joe here. Just wanted to talk to you about the elections this year."
[Obama] "Joe, I told you not to call unless there is an emergency. Is this an emergency?"
[Biden] "Is a frog's butt watertight?"
[Biden] "Is a pig's butt pork?"
[Biden] "Sorry. I'm working on some folksy, down-home kind of stuff that'll endear us to the stupid southerners. We're going to need to win at least a few of those states."
[Obama] "Joe, we're concentrating on getting the rust-belt voters, rather than those dumb southern racist crackers."
[Biden] "But the rust-belt people hate us."
[Obama] "That's why we're putting Hillary on the ticket to replace you. You embody the rust-belt way too much. So, uh, we're getting rid of you and putting another Chicago thug on the ticket."
[Jarrett nods in approval]
[Biden] "Sir! I do NOT recommend that!"
[Obama] "I know you're just trying to preserve you job."
[Biden] "Naw, it's not that. It's just that I saw Hillary practicing throwing stars, ninja-style. She took down a bigleaf maple tree in three throws. With Hillary one 'accident' away from the Presidency, I'd put the over/under on your continued existence at about, oh, let's put it this way: Yo-Yo Ma wouldn't even be done playing Allah Save the King at your Coronation before Hill would be waving your head around on the end of a spike."
[Obama] "You exaggerate."
A disturbance is heard outside the plane. All aboard look out the portside windows and witness a terrible scene...
[Obama, like a little girl] "Gaaahh! What it that?"
[Hillary cackles and throws a chunk of the Constitution into the jet intake. The plane shudders as the engine begins to fail.]
[Hillary] "Barack! You stole my destiny! But I will steal it back! This plane will be mine! Mwaa-hah-hah-hah-hah! I will paint that blue stripe on it pink and I will rule forever!"
[Jarrett] "Quick! Recite the mantra!"
[Obama, Jarrett, Plouffe, Axelrod, in unison] "Whitewater, Whitewater, Rose Law Firm Billing Records, Travelgate, FBI files! Whitewater, Whitewater, Rose Law Firm Billing Records, Travelgate, FBI file!"
[Hillary, in apparent pain] "Nreeee! I'll be back for you! Be sure of it!" [flys off, over the horizon]
[Obama] "Joe, you still there?"
[Biden] "Does a rattlesnake butt taste like chicken?"
[Obama] "Keep working on that charming down-home thing you're working on. We'll be needing you on the campaign trail!"