Barry scary plane ride

Air Force 1 en route to campaign stop official business stop.  Obama, Plouffe, Jarrett and Axelrod discussing campaign strategy.

[Jarrett] "We need to ditch Biden.  The guy's a loon.  Get Hillary on the ticket.  That'll give us a thin veneer of centrism while we continue with radical redistributionism.  Might be enough to fool some of the rust-belt union types."

[Plouffe] "Agreed."

Obama's phone rings

[Obama] " Hello.  Commander in Chief speaking."

[Biden, on other end of phone call] "Hey, boss!  Joe here.  Just wanted to talk to you about the elections this year."

[Obama] "Joe, I told you not to call unless there is an emergency.  Is this an emergency?"

[Biden] "Is a frog's butt watertight?"

[Obama] "What?"

[Biden] "Is a pig's butt pork?"

[Obama] "Joe!"

[Biden] "Sorry.  I'm working on some folksy, down-home kind of stuff that'll endear us to the stupid southerners.  We're going to need to win at least a few of those states."

[Obama] "Joe, we're concentrating on getting the rust-belt voters, rather than those dumb southern racist crackers."

[Biden] "But the rust-belt people hate us."

[Obama] "That's why we're putting Hillary on the ticket to replace you.  You embody the rust-belt way too much.  So, uh, we're getting rid of you and putting another Chicago thug on the ticket."

[Jarrett nods in approval]

[Biden] "Sir!  I do NOT recommend that!"

[Obama] "I know you're just trying to preserve you job."

[Biden] "Naw, it's not that.  It's just that I saw Hillary practicing throwing stars, ninja-style.  She took down a bigleaf maple tree in three throws.  With Hillary one 'accident' away from the Presidency, I'd put the over/under on your continued existence at about, oh, let's put it this way:  Yo-Yo Ma wouldn't even be done playing Allah Save the King at your Coronation before Hill would be waving your head around on the end of a spike."

[Obama] "You exaggerate."

A disturbance is heard outside the plane.  All aboard look out the portside windows and witness a terrible scene...

[Obama, like a little girl] "Gaaahh! What it that?"

[Hillary cackles and throws a chunk of the Constitution into the jet intake.  The plane shudders as the engine begins to fail.]

[Hillary] "Barack!  You stole my destiny!  But I will steal it back!  This plane will be mine!  Mwaa-hah-hah-hah-hah!  I will paint that blue stripe on it pink and I will rule forever!"

[Jarrett] "Quick!  Recite the mantra!"

[Obama, Jarrett, Plouffe, Axelrod, in unison] "Whitewater, Whitewater, Rose Law Firm Billing Records, Travelgate, FBI files!  Whitewater, Whitewater, Rose Law Firm Billing Records, Travelgate, FBI file!"

[Hillary, in apparent pain] "Nreeee!  I'll be back for you!  Be sure of it!" [flys off, over the horizon]

[Obama] "Joe, you still there?"

[Biden] "Does a rattlesnake butt taste like chicken?"

[Obama] "Keep working on that charming down-home thing you're working on.  We'll be needing you on the campaign trail!"