Saturday, July 25, 2015

Ooh-ooh, that smell!

Anybody have ideas on how to convince a skunk that he should find another place to hang out?  See, I finally got that stupid pool set up and working but the last few days there's been a skunk in the area stinking up the whole backyard.  Kind of detracts from the enjoyment of the pool.  I've let the pastor of my church park his camper on an unused part of our lot, and I think Mr. Skunky is camping under it.  At least, that's where the smell seems strongest.  But the whole backyard is under a cloud of funk so I could be way off.  Truth be told?  I'm way too chicken to investigate thoroughly.

Is there anything that skunks really hate?  Disco music?  Hillary campaign posters?  TSA pat-downs?  So far I'm reluctant to "go nuclear" with poison or bullets.  I'd like to him to self-deport.  Trying to trap him and release him at the Benton County Democrats HQ out in the boonies seems like a recipe for disaster so I hope there's an alternative I'm not yet aware of.

Thanks!

11 comments:

  1. Oh my lord! Next to bats, skunks are one of the top rabies vectors in the state, Inno, so they need to be dealt with vewy, vewy cawefully. From personal experience: do not shoot them, either with a tranq rifle or with bullets, as the ensuing spray will make the whole place uninhabitable for weeks.It's really that bad.

    First things first: the little stripers are omnivorous, sorta like us, except that they'll eat grubs and birdfood and stuff. Get rid of anything that remotely resembles something edible, and put a bungee cord on your garbage can - just to be safe.

    Unless you plan to spend a few weeks eating and sleeping in the great outdoors, DO NOT, under any circumstances, trap the thing. Yes, it's easily done, but once your wife catches a whiff of you at the doorway, you will be banned from the house until further notice.

    In this situation, distraction is the better part of valor. You might want to collect food scraps and dump them into the neighbor's yard, thus enticing the striped menace away from your place. Alternatively, you might try boiling one chopped yellow onion, one chopped jalapeno pepper and one tablespoon of cayenne pepper in two quarts of water for 20 minutes. When the broth is done, strain the liquid and pour the it into a spray bottle, then squirt it all around - especially around the camper. While skunks will eat all kinds of stuff, they have an aversion to spicy Mexican food. I'm not sure why, but it does act as sort of a repellent. Downside: you will need multiple batches, as it needs to be sprayed several times a day to be fairly effective.

    As another alternative, you might want to dig a few shallow holes, plant some flags in them, and invite Obama over for a few rounds of golf.

    Best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like your idea because even if it doesn't work, I'll be halfway to a good batch of salsa.

      Delete
    2. True enough! But if you add cilantro, be sure it's American-grown; FDA just ordered a halt to imports of Mexican cilantro because they did some inspections down there and found poop and used toilet paper in the fields....

      Delete
  2. I understand they really like cat food ...so put it somewhere to draw them away from their hangout

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Skip! Wife and I will be on our way down to SF in a few days. I'll wave at ya as we pass through Redding.

      Go Giants!

      Delete
  3. Bullets, Inno. No other way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I get the stink all over me, it'll be YOUR fault! :)

      Delete
  4. Racist! Skunks are animals of color! They are immigrants! They deserve sanctuary!

    ReplyDelete
  5. M'kay, buddy. Been about a year.
    .

    ReplyDelete
  6. And, now it's your birthday!

    Happy!
    .

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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