Depp Thoughts with Joe Biden

 
I wish there was somebody out there who cared about me half as much as my dear Dr. Jill cares about getting that 35 point upper-half Yahtzee! bonus.

-----------------------------------------

Once I had a pet frog. I named him Reggie.

------------------------------------------
I tend not to wash my hands after using the restroom, 'cuz that kinda implies that ya got some on ya.
------------------------------------------
Ya know that little balloon thingy under a frog's chin?  I just poked a hole in Reggie's with a thumbtack.
------------------------------------------
I don't do yoga but I find that the "downward dog" posture works pretty good in the bathroom.  Keeps me from wiping the tail of my shirt into my buttcleft.
------------------------------------------
Speaking of which, I think I need to go wash my hands.
------------------------------------------
Ha!  Now Reggie sounds like a whoopie cushion!
------------------------------------------
Harry told everybody he got whupped when his workout band snapped.  Don't believe him.  He isn't strong enough to stretch a rubber band far enough to shoot it across the office.
------------------------------------------
What really happened is he got whupped when MichelleO snapped.  See, we were all over at my place for dinner, and Michelle spilled some Merlot.  Harry said "Lamont, ya big ugly dummy!" and, well...
------------------------------------------
Don't tell anybody, but Hillary is really rattled by how well Bernie Sanders is doing.  When she's sober, she's twitchin' like Steve Sax trying to make a routine throw to first base.
------------------------------------------
The Obama administration has proved that competency  is no longer a requirement for the Presidency so I think I'll run for office one more time.
------------------------------------------
The stress of having to run against me *and* Bernie would probably cause Hillary to have a stroke.  Not sure if anybody would notice, though.
------------------------------------------
She still thinks the media will do some kind of deus ex machina and save her floundering campaign.  But with Bill around, I think a "d'oh sex maniac" moment is more likely.
------------------------------------------
Don't worry, she's not sober very often.