Saturday, March 9, 2013

Still haven't posted to Twitter

The urge to blog has certainly been absent lately.  The best I can muster is twitterish short takes, but I can't bring myself to actually break my twitter embargo.  So I guess I'll post them here.  You're welcome.

  • Dear NUKS students, thank you for coming to the shop and placing an order.  However, despite what is depicted in Axe TV ads, it is NOT SUGGESTED that you wear a whole can of Axe spray when you are ordering your awards.
  • Frogs (and amphibians, in general) are said to be a barometer of an ecosystem's health.  The land around my house is a VERY HEALTHY ecosystem.
  • 7:00pm - "Hear all the froggies?"  "Yeah, grandpa!  Cool!"
  • Midnight - "There HAS to be a way to shut these @#$%^& frogs up!"
  • Seriously, it's like a biblical plague of frogs out there.
  • The sunny days are nice, but the frosty windshield thing is getting old.
  • One might think that subfreezing temperatures would shut up a frog.  One would be mistaken.
  • She packed a SpongeBob Gogurt in my lunch?  Seriously?
  • My neighbor shoos the Canada geese off his land with a shotgun.  Wonder if it works on frogs.
  • Oh-so-thoughful brother-in-law brought us a small inflatable pool.  Yay.  Grandkid insisted that I inflate it today, even though it is way to cold for a swim.  I think I burst a vessel in the process.
  • What are the symptoms of an aneurysm?  The spots I'm seeing that look rather like miniature fireflies, will go away, right?  Right?
  • The inflatable giraffe that is part of the inflatable pool is already drooping at half-mast.  Little brat better not have popped the pool before we've even put water in it.
  • It would be nice to have recovered from inflating the pool with my lips before the pool was destroyed.  Guess I ask for too much.
  • I suppose that popping the pool is better than pooping the pool.
  • Next time I'm asked to inflate a pool, I'll decline.  Knowing what I know now, I'd think I'd rather be shot in the glans with a frozen paintball.

20 comments:

  1. OW! Maybe there is a solution. IIRC, young Grasshopper there has very healthy lungs, albeit, small volume perhaps. So maybe an afternoon game might be, How many shades of red can the kid achieve?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Though they scream like ones with strong lungs, their inflation efforts got me only pbbbt noises and slobber on the air nozzle.

      Delete
    2. Tried to. Wanted to. Couldn't get it to work.

      Delete
  2. The sunny days are nice, but the frosty windshield thing is getting old.

    It will prolly pain ya to know I haven't owned an ice scraper for over ten years. If there's snow or ice on my windshield I just stay home. Easy-peesy.

    Mebbe you have toads, not frogs. The best way to find out is to kiss one. If it turns into a princess you've solved the problem and mebbe gained a harem. If not, well...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With my luck they would be hallucinogenic toads. Next thing you know I'd be firing my shotgun through the front door.

      Delete
  3. My neighbor at Campus Court was cologne impaired. Never thought to ask what odours were being masked, but was thankful for the masking.

    I own an electric airpump/emergency flasher that runs off of my car's battery. Air mattress can't tell.

    Hearing frogs is just a convenient way to tell that you haven't died yet. Be thankful.
    .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like Homer Simpson said: "I'm not really a shower guy, I'm more of a cologne guy."

      Delete
    2. If you're hearing frogs, you may already have licked a toad....

      Delete
    3. So, dude, there was like, this one time me 'n Abbie Hoffman were doing bong hits behind Arlo Guthrie's tour bus. Abbie almost spilled the bong 'cuz he was laughing at my Nixon in a Negligee nightmare I had the night before and this toad jumped into the bong, man, and we didn't realize it until we had finished burnin' the rest of the weed, man, and I ain't been right since.

      Delete
  4. The origin of the students is a clue.
    They were taught how to bathe by the French.

    I feel fortunate that the frogs are half a block away and have to go outside to hear them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If one does a regression analysis on any problem, one finds that the French are always the root of it.

      Delete
  5. Must be nice to live in a sunny land, where there is no vice, no ice and your inflatable pool can be filled in mid March.

    Oh to live in the land of Inno, where there is no want or need.

    I still have a foot of snow on my front yard. I can mail you some, if you want.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We got diddly for snow this year. I'm almost jealous.

      Delete
  6. Sounds like Fredd is jealous. I feel you pain with my snow too. Frogs is cool when they're quiet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Frogs is cool when they're quiet. Which would be daytime. Why would they willingly forfeit their coolness every evening?

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    2. Every year between March and May, I'd get a couple of tree frogs migrating into the barn. Nothing like amplified croaking; be happy they're out in the back yard!

      Delete
  7. A Twitter embargo? But...but...but I'm following you. And I mean that in a nonthreatening sense.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My twitter profile still proudly reads "tweets: 0"

      Delete
  8. Heh. I can't get rolling on Twitter either.

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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