Barry miserable summit

The pResident and various heads-of-state are in Cannes (pronounced "KHAAAAAN!") in the south of France for the G20 Summit.  After another day of futile discussions, the leaders are having a formal dinner.  A waitress brings the first course.

[Waitress] "Here is ze special French deenair for ze special guests"

[Obama, to waitress] "Mercy bo-coo-coo-ka-choop"

[Sarkozy laughs]

[Merkel glares, disapprovingly]

[Obama] "C'mon, Angie!  That was funny!"

[Merkel] "I am German.  I do not laugh."

[Obama] "You remind me of Angela Landsbury.  Are you two related?"

[Merkel, facepalm]

[French PM Sarkozy] "Meestair pResidahnt Obama, ze central banks of Europe are unable to cope with ze masseeve Greek debt probe-lems.  Unless ze Americans help, ze Euro is soon no more."

[Omaba] "Sarko, my people don't have much appetite for more debt.  We might be able to help with Greece, but after that, I doubt it.  We may be the world's largest economy, but we can't bail out Spain or Italy, or for that matter, France."

[Sarkozee] "Oui, oui, you always remind us." [eyeroll] "You have ze beeggest economee, ze beeggest militaree, ze beeggest zis and ze beeggest zat.  And I remind you, vouz also have ze beeggest spouse.  Her butt-tocks are unnaturally beeg.  My wife is soopairmodell, while yours...  how to say in English..." [pensive pause] "...it is like your wife's face is on fyair, and a strong man come to exteenguish ze flames, using only a wet crowbar."

[Merkel busts out laughing]

[Obama] "Ha ha.  Ang?  I thought you didn't laugh."

[Merkel] "Nien.  But, that was funny."

The waitress arrives with the next course of the meal.

[Obama, nodding in thanks to waittress] "Donkeyshown"

[Waitress, faux German accent] "Bitter"

[Obama, rapidly] "Clinger"

[Waitress, rapidly] "Radar O'Reilly"

[Obama, rapidly] "Colonel Potter"

[Waitress, rapidly] "Harry Potter"

[Obama, rapidly] "Occupy Wall Street"

[Waitress, rapidly] "What?  I said 'Harry Potter' not 'hairy pooter' "

[Obama] "Sorry, your accent kinda got me on that one."

[Waitress, indignantly] "Meestair pResidahnt, you are in Frahnce.  Vouz are the one with ze accent."

[Obama, dumbfounded stare]

[Merkel] "It is evident that these discussions are going nowhere."

Some days later, back in DC

[MichelleO] "How'd the big G20 summit go?"

[Obama] "Terrible.  The whole global economy is going to explode in my face right before election time."

[MichelleO] "I've been wanting to talk to you about that.  Are you really sure you even want to run again?  I'd be totally OK with you just serving one term."

[Obama] "Yeah, me pretending to be hetero-  all this time has been pretty hard on both of us.  Dunno if I can do it for another four years."

[MichelleO] "Me either."