The pResident and various heads-of-state are in Cannes (pronounced "KHAAAAAN!") in the south of France for the G20 Summit. After another day of futile discussions, the leaders are having a formal dinner. A waitress brings the first course.
[Waitress] "Here is ze special French deenair for ze special guests"
[Obama, to waitress] "Mercy bo-coo-coo-ka-choop"
[Merkel glares, disapprovingly]
[Obama] "C'mon, Angie! That was funny!"
[Merkel] "I am German. I do not laugh."
[Obama] "You remind me of Angela Landsbury. Are you two related?"
[French PM Sarkozy] "Meestair pResidahnt Obama, ze central banks of Europe are unable to cope with ze masseeve Greek debt probe-lems. Unless ze Americans help, ze Euro is soon no more."
[Omaba] "Sarko, my people don't have much appetite for more debt. We might be able to help with Greece, but after that, I doubt it. We may be the world's largest economy, but we can't bail out Spain or Italy, or for that matter, France."
[Sarkozee] "Oui, oui, you always remind us." [eyeroll] "You have ze beeggest economee, ze beeggest militaree, ze beeggest zis and ze beeggest zat. And I remind you, vouz also have ze beeggest spouse. Her butt-tocks are unnaturally beeg. My wife is soopairmodell, while yours... how to say in English..." [pensive pause] "...it is like your wife's face is on fyair, and a strong man come to exteenguish ze flames, using only a wet crowbar."
[Merkel busts out laughing]
[Obama] "Ha ha. Ang? I thought you didn't laugh."
[Merkel] "Nien. But, that was funny."
The waitress arrives with the next course of the meal.
[Obama, nodding in thanks to waittress] "Donkeyshown"
[Waitress, faux German accent] "Bitter"
[Obama, rapidly] "Clinger"
[Waitress, rapidly] "Radar O'Reilly"
[Obama, rapidly] "Colonel Potter"
[Waitress, rapidly] "Harry Potter"
[Obama, rapidly] "Occupy Wall Street"
[Waitress, rapidly] "What? I said 'Harry Potter' not 'hairy pooter' "
[Obama] "Sorry, your accent kinda got me on that one."
[Waitress, indignantly] "Meestair pResidahnt, you are in Frahnce. Vouz are the one with ze accent."
[Obama, dumbfounded stare]
[Merkel] "It is evident that these discussions are going nowhere."
Some days later, back in DC
[MichelleO] "How'd the big G20 summit go?"
[Obama] "Terrible. The whole global economy is going to explode in my face right before election time."
[MichelleO] "I've been wanting to talk to you about that. Are you really sure you even want to run again? I'd be totally OK with you just serving one term."
[Obama] "Yeah, me pretending to be hetero- all this time has been pretty hard on both of us. Dunno if I can do it for another four years."
[MichelleO] "Me either."