Monday, November 7, 2011

Apologies are in order

Dear citizens, travelers, longshoreman, and other inhabitants of Mos Eisley Spaceport:

In 1977, I famously said of you

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

OK, that's over 35 years ago.  You'd think things would be forgotten.  But this is the Age of the Internet, where every stupid action and every dumb deed is Forever.  Words come back to haunt you like a bad bowl of borscht.  Truth is, I can now go to #occupy_[anyplace] and encounter far more wretchedness, more hives, more scumminess, and certainly more villainy as well.

Long and short of it, I should not have used the word "never" in that quote.  As a Jedi, it is my duty to live an honest and forthright life.  So I apologize and beg your forgiveness for grossly overstating your wretchedness.  (Except you, Greedo.  You're still a buttstain).  And please don't lawyer-up and come after me for slander or libel or any of that crap.  I am an itinerant hero - nearly penniless.  And my 401k has gotten, like, really raped the last couple years.  So, please, please, accept this most heartfelt apology.

Sincerely,

Obi-Wan ("Ben") Kenobi



cc: NYT Editorial Board; Law Offices of Crook and Bender, LLC



PS - Hey Darth, instead of zapping Alderaan, how 'bout we thumbwrestle?  If I win, you zap Zuccotti Park instead.  Text  me and let me know, K?


Heh.  I feel a strange disturbance in the force - like millions of hippies, suddenly incinerated.  Along with a lot of body lice and a couple of rats.

10 comments:

  1. Plus the Mos Eisley Spaceport offered much better music!

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  2. Quite, Rightly - You are so correct. I used to think that the puffy-headed mutant horn section was the worst. Then I heard the bongo players downtown. Yeesh.

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  3. Those poor innocent rats. ::snif::

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  4. Red - pity not those rats. They were guilty by association.

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  5. Maybe he's just upset because the obstructionist Republican congress won't pass Obama's jobs bill?

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  6. I can smell them from Wall Street when the wind blows west, and from Oakland when the wind blows east. No damned relief in sight!

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  7. In 1977... OK, that's over 35 years ago.

    You've shattered my illusions. Who knew Jedis were math-challenged?

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  8. Dead Red ConservativeNovember 8, 2011 at 5:33 PM

    hey if you had the force would you bother with math?

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  9. Dead Red ConservativeNovember 8, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    Take my advice seriously peeps, I was the 100th follower.

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  10. oish Zucchini Park is being decimated..~! Have a super Wednesday~! :)

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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