INN field agent Wii Hung Lo reporting
|Dr. James Flake|
"SaRDS," says Dr. Flake, "seems to disproportionately affect the elderly, drunk rednecks, and terrorists. However, nobody is immune. Even healthy young people have been struck by this fearsome disease. Like the pedestrian that got run over by Cash Cab in Vancouver the other day. This is devastating. SaRDS will cause WAYYYY more deaths than global warming, yet I have only the most meager budget to combat it. Hint-hint."
|Fateful picture of drunk redneck playing with Molotov Cocktail,|
immediately prior to dramatic onset of SaRDS
|Taliban fighters dying of 30mm cannon fire and SaRDS,|
but mostly SaRDS
|I lost my best buddy to SaRDS|
Dr. Flake interrupts at this point, "See? We might even be facing an invasion of Shmoos from outer space. SaRDS is unlike any other threat we have faced. I need a LOT more grant money if I am ever to come up with a vaccine for SaRDS."