It occurs to me that the previous post did not meet the minimum RDA of anger. I don't want you all to become deficient, but I find myself in the (unfamiliar) position of not being very pissy about anything at the moment. Not sure what I'll do about it.
Wait a sec...
The radio...
They're playing Sympathy for the Devil. Man, I hate that song. Never been much of a Stones guy. Paint it Black is OK, I guess. But Sympathy is just horrid. Even worse than all their other horrid junk. Stupid subject matter, stupid "whoo whoo." It's over. Finally.
Aw, great. Here it comes... Just about every commercial break there's an ad for a regional hotel chain. "Free Continental Breakfast at most locations." You know what a freakin' Continental Breakfast is, right? A room-temperature croissant and a cup of coffee. Maybe a grape on the side. Yay. Am I supposed to get all fired up about that? I assume they're talking about Continental as in Europe and not Continental as in the big gas-hoggin' American car. 'Cuz this so-called "breakfast" is more like a Geo Metro Breakfast. They gotta be talking about Europe. Now I'm good'n ticked. They're boasting that they offer the same grub that some Belgian guy named Patrice eats in the morning. Ya know what, Patrice? Guys that go to Denny's and eat a Lumberjack Slam don't get punked by the Prussians twice every century, that's what!
But there ain't even a Denny's in my stupid town. No Wal-Mart, either. Yes, I gotta drive far out of my way just to enjoy the finer things in life like a Lumberjack Slam and a $19 DVD player that'll fail in a month. If I stay in town, my only choice is Shari's with that ridiculous octagonal building and overpriced pies. Did you know they trademarked that shape? Yep, if you try to open an octagonal restaurant, you'll get the visit from their attorneys. But, but, I got this GREAT deal on 45o pipe fittings! What am I going to do with all these 45o pipe fittings in a normal rectangular building? Sorry, champ. Screw two together and make a 90o and shut up. 54,000 people in this town and no Denny's and no Wal-Mart. But we have TWO organic food co-ops. As Mick Jagger might say "whoo!" And we have a Market of Choice which is basically a co-op with cleaner floors and better lighting. Double "whoo!" Of course, I could go to Elmer's but the food isn't so great and they aren't very friendly. It says "breakfast served anytime" so I tried that old Steven Wright joke on them "OK, I'll have pancakes during the French Revolution." Not even a glimmer of a smile from the ornery old waitress, so I ain't going back there ever again. What's a hungry redneck supposed to do?
I dunno either. But just talking about it all has got my blood pressure back to well into the triple digits and my scowl is coming back. I feel much better now. Thanks for listening.
Play an old clip of hopey changey...That should boil the blood.
ReplyDeleteHow's this for getting you all riled up:
ReplyDeleteWHAM!!!
lolz woohoo get that rage out buddy! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteIi'm glad your anger is back to normal, Inno.
ReplyDeleteMine is up there now, you reminded me I don't have a Denny's or Walmart anywhere me either!
I'm missing out on baconaliaha. crap.
They're playing Sympathy for the Devil. Man, I hate that song. Never been much of a Stones guy.
ReplyDeleteOh, shit... Oh DEAR. -1... no, make that -10, Inno. As far as "Sympathy" goes, you're obviously listening to the wrong version, given you heard it on the radio. Listen to this, especially the guitar interplay between Keith Richards and Mick Taylor beginning around 3:10. Those are some of the hottest... if not THE hottest... guitar licks ever recorded, anywhere. And the woo-hoos are so subdued as to be nearly inaudible. Gotta love it.
Am I Stones fan? Well... duh. They ain't called "The World's Greatest Rock 'n' Roll Band" fer nuthin'. ;-)
Wow. That really sucks. I literally have two Super Wal-Marts within ten miles of my house. I go because they are not union.
ReplyDeleteAt any rate, that was an excellent rant inno.
Mr Innnominatus; I am straight with ya on the distaste for the Stones...and especially that song...I have a policy: the first conga notes and I reach for the switch, if the first "ow!" gets out, that's fine. If the second one gets out, I've failed.
ReplyDeleteDenny's. Wow. I have been wanting the "unlimited $4 pancakes" for a couple of weeks now. Walmart...we're stinky with Walmart in Texas, they're like fire ants. Or, in your parlance, like blackberry vines!
Glad you got your ire back, brother! You wear it well! Wait, that's a Rod Steward song, and I don't like him, too!
Not a Stones fan either. Or the Beatles for that matter. Guess I'm a heretic.
ReplyDeleteOh, you just simply must come to NewOrleans and have breakfast at the Camellia Grill. Omelets the size of platters, bacon so thick that it fights back, and chili cheese fries to kill for.
ReplyDeleteYou know what's got my goat? The fact that the press has totally skimmed over Weiner's bold-faced LYING and focused on the actual misdeeds. Just like they did with Clinton. Of course, Clinton was under oath at the time, and Weiner was very careful not to entangle himself up with the Feds, but still. He swore to the world that he had been hacked!!! Damn, Skippy!!! I hate freaking' liars!!!!!!
Now that you're feelin normal again "Let's do Breakfast!"
ReplyDeleteGood to see you back in good form!
ReplyDeleteYou should try one of our Waffle House eatery's where it takes all of the waitress's to make up a full set of teeth!
Walmart, the best show in town.
Let that anger flow... Just think of Weiner and his not resigning yet and that should get your blood boiling.
ReplyDeleteWatch a nonstop loop of Obama speeches while liquored up real good and strapped to a chair like in Clockwork Orange lol
ReplyDeleteAll it takes is about five minutes reading headlines and I'm steamed.
ReplyDelete