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I pressed the "Random" button on the post-o-matic and this is what I came up with...
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Today a customer came in our signs & engraving shop all fired up about a dogtag he found on a Wolverine (the movie) website. He wanted to order one for himself, but couldn't stand actually waiting for it. He wanted us to make one. Like NOW! 'Cuz it is so cool, dude! So we did.

I'm coming up on 40 years old, which means I've seen a lot of dorks in my lifetime. So I know from whence I speak, when I say this college-aged Wolverine Fanboy was even worse than the "pimply role-playing-game-hypergeeks" and "throws-like-a-girl-Zelda-aficionados" that hang out at the comic book store. Note to college-aged Wolverine Fanboy: Wearing a Wolverine dogtag does not increase your coolness. It will not increase the odds of you procreating. It does not enable you to slash your way through the steel fire doors at the end of the hallway in your dorm. If you actually had Wolverine claws you would have accidentally poked your own eyes out by now, so count yourself lucky to be without them. Count yourself additionally lucky if you make it to age 25 without being beaten up for wearing a Wolverine dogtag. Now get back to your studies, graduate with honors, and go get a lucrative job in a very, very distant city. Thanks.